something's fishy

as you may or may not know, i made a drastic change in August of 2007. i went from eating salami-cheese sandwiches, yogurt, and cheese for lunch each day to a strict vegan diet. legumes and nuts became my new best friends. since then, i've made many alterations to my diet. i am now what i would call a "lazy vegan." it's not even about being lazy; i eat what i want. simple as that. however, there is one thing i haven't budged on: meat. can't do it. won't do it. no desire to do it.

therein lies my latest moral dilemma.

i'm moving to spain. they love ham. they even have a museo del jamon (ham museum). i just can't do ham. i mean, never say never. but never (until further notice).

since the thought of munching on a ham hock makes me nauseous, i've contemplated starting to eat fish again. spain is also lush in seafood, and it would be a lot easier to survive if i was open to eating seafood. i don't know why i'm a little better with the idea of eating fish over eating ham, but i am. but i'm still not ok with it. for moral, environmental, and health reasons, i just don't want to do it; yet, I DO! i want to experience spain's culture. i want to go out to eat and not have to scrounge the menu for SOMETHING (ANYTHING) non-meaty to eat. but it still doesn't make those guilty feelings go away.

*sigh

i just don't know what to do.

until i can come to some conclusion, you'll find me munching on my spinach. crunch.